3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
