sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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