whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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