hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Randomize
