WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
