In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
