I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
