We won't sleep together?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
