haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
