Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
