how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
try to milk me bitch
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