I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
where am i from again
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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