im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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