dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
