I wannas sexs uuuuu
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
