Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
