if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
