i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
