Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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