fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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