i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
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