so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
either way he was missing a nipple.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
