dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
