These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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