I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
My penis needs a shock collar
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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