she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
