i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Randomize
