You're my little dorito
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
