either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
