my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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