i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
