Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I'm jealous of your bromance
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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