Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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