Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
My feet surprised me
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