Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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