Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
