FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
