Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
You ate ashes out of my bong
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize