Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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