Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
