i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
