I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
