I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
