He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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