if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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