I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
