No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize