My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
