May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
