I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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