His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize