Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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