dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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