why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
