I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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