Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
