We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
