He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
She told me I should be a condom model.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
