If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize
