Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
