So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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